What Happens When Leaders Get Real

Leadership Gets Easier When You Stop Trying So Hard

I’ve seen it time and time again working with leaders—so many try to hold it all together, to play the part of “professional leader” perfectly. But when they finally let themselves be themselves, something shifts. They feel more relaxed. They enjoy the work more. And their teams respond in kind.

When Mike became principal, he thought he had to be “on” all the time—polished, composed, untouchable. He believed leadership meant projecting authority, not revealing vulnerability. But behind that professional mask, his staff couldn’t see him. He was respected, maybe. But not connected. And without connection, trust is thin and relationships are surface-level.

Then one day, he messed up—a big scheduling issue. Instead of deflecting, he owned it in front of his team: “I made a mistake. I was overwhelmed. I’m working on it.” In that moment, something shifted. People relaxed. They saw a real person, not a title, not a role—just Mike. And from there, real relationships started forming.

A boss wants to appear like they have all the answers. A leader is ok showing they don’t. It builds trust, cooperation, and problem-solving.” – Simon Sinek

Part of being authentic also means asking for help. So many leaders carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, convinced they’re supposed to have all the answers. But leadership isn’t a solo performance—it’s a team sport. When you ask others for input, for feedback, or simply for a hand, you’re not showing weakness. You’re showing wisdom. And you’re inviting others to step up, contribute, and grow alongside you.

Authenticity in leadership doesn’t mean saying everything you think or letting it all hang out. It means showing up as your natural self, transparent in your values, honest in your mistakes, and kind in your communication. It’s giving people permission to bring their full selves because you’ve shown them it’s safe. It’s leading with heart as well as with strategy.

Here are a few questions to reflect on:
– Are you letting people see you, or just your role?
– What part of your leadership might feel like a performance?
– When was the last time you said, “I don’t know,” or “I got that wrong”?
– Who might feel more connected to you if you let down your guard, just a little?
– Is there something you’re carrying alone that someone else would be honored to help you with?

Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. So take a breath. Be yourself. Ask for help when you need it. And lead in a way that invites others to do the same.